TRAD. METAL REVIEW - WHITE WOLF - STANDING ALONE (1984)

The Player:
Hard to say. Everyone does their part - and WELL.

The Players:
Les Schwartz, Don Wilk, Cam Mcleod, Rick Nelson, Loris Bolzon

What Is It?
A 1984 traditional metal album that is a definite gem among mid 80s metal releases. This album was released in 1984, and there can be many encouraging similarities found between this, Judas Priest (for proof, listen to "What The War Will Bring") and Queensryche's releases that same year. These similarities are apparent throughout the album, but only increase its value to me (my favorite Priest album is Defenders of The Faith 1984). Heck, I even drew parallels to Icon and Shok Paris, two of my favorite bands. So, needless to say, I love this album.

Does It Suck?
Totally not. This is an ARTFUL piece of traditional metal at its best. While simple in most of its execution, the songs are drawn out longer and there are many great solos that remind me of Tipton/Downing, and even sometimes Denner/Shermann. The choruses are, in typical 80s fashion HUGE, so no worries here. Adding to the package, the riffage is plentiful and devastating in its deceptive simplicity, for example: "Headlines" - it's really one of those records that makes you wonder, "what the fuck happened to good riffs and songs?". It's that good. The ass-kicking continues over to the B side, although overall I prefer the A side for its utter domination.

A key thing I notice while re-listening to the record is that it's one of the few memorable-yet-not ones I have (including Among The Living, An Overdose Of Death, Rock Hard). Let me explain this term: The album gives you an overall good feeling after listening to it, and you hold the album high in regard. Yet, after a while you forget about it only to rediscover its amazing qualities. This is in NO way a bad thing - it increases your joy when you listen to the record again. One of the many reasons I like Standing Alone. It's a total gem.

Wrap Up:
Overall, these songs sound very smooth yet deadly. White Wolf can write a song like no other - with this album they expand on the genre of traditional metal and take it to a new level. One of those albums you have to hear to make a judgment on, but for me as an early to mid 80s metal lover at heart, it's gold. I give this a solid 9/10 - and you can put it up against practically any other genre with that rating.

AOR REVIEW - BRITTON - ROCK HARD (1988)

The Player:
Michael Britton

The Players:
Skip Frank
Jim McMellen
Patrick Schunk
Gary Holland

What Is It?
A late 80s unknown Hair metal - AOR themed group led by someone named Michael Britton. It is a fairly to very enjoyable record, and may be one of the rarest ones in my collection, depending on its actual scarcity. It has a lighthearted sound most of the time, always optimistic and that's what seems to separate it from regular hair metal. The main thing I get out of this album are the amazing choruses. "Living On The Red Line" is a prime example. Also, you guessed it, Jim McMellen SHINES on his rock-y yet skilled leads. The song is more important than the riff on this album, and it's a refreshing change from what all the other late 80s rockers came out with. It comes off as....well, the only word I can really use is "Mighty". Solid, commanding rock.

Does It Suck?
Did I just hear SWEEPS on the title track? Hell no, this doesn't suck. This album is basically what the title deems it. Rock solid, and much more enjoyable than say, Diving For Pearls. http://www.sleazeroxx.com/news08/0916bri.shtml Go there for more info.

Starting with the first side, the first two tracks, "Don't Wanna Be Your Fool" and "Living On The Red Line" are perfect punch-you-in-the-mouth openers. "Red Line" is probably Britton's "Freewheel Burning". You just have to listen for the full effect. "Hold On" admittedly borrows from Boston with the chord progression and the chorus harmony is exactly the same as "Photograph" by Def Leppard. However, it still manages a very optimistic sound, despite being a ballad. The next track, "Over The Edge" could practically be the second part of the previous track, but contrasts well. "She Lights The Fire" starts out scattered, but ends sounding complete.

The second side is a bit of a different story. "Rock Hard", the title track, is executed strongly, as it should be. Then it seems "Name The Time" is the in-between track from the title track and "Bring On The Body". The latter drags on too long and is basically a party track. It is also laughably positioned right next to the album's main ballad, "You're The One" which, sadly actually sounds pretty earnest. Frankly, I don't know how this kind of thing happens, but it does on a frightening number of 80s rock records. Even the average listener may think "and they want us to take them seriously?" This is not really the band's fault, but it IS one little strike against the whole package.

Finally, the last song is one named "(No More) Drinking and Driving". Yes, you fucking read right. This song, while admittedly "Hard Rockin'", sounds like it was written for a fucking commercial. It's a decent song, but hilarious in execution and while good in its intentions, will make the average listener blush the first few times around.

Notes:
On the back of the record, the band thanks Autograph and Steve Lynch.
Under "Very Special Thanks To:" they thank "Jon Johnson for believing in us, and more importantly, warning us about the perils of 'jalapeno dick'".

Wrap Up:
It actually seems, upon another listen that Britton went into this project having MOST of the ideas and songs down (which sounds better than most bands) but kind of scraped up more, slightly staler ideas which can be found in some of the songs on the B side. That being the only real flaw, this record is definitely worth your buck as long as it's reasonably priced. Having the vinyl version myself, I would really like to have the reissue just to have the commentary by the band members. One thing I always find that's missing in these unknown records is the stories of these guys - and what they have to say. You usually just have to scrounge the lyrics (that you can hear) and check the back of the sleeve, which is more often than not disappointing. In any case, this record is overall quite solid and a good listen. For its genre, an easy 7/10. Recommended, although maybe it'd be better to listen to the 2nd side first.

BLUES METAL REVIEW: DIVING FOR PEARLS (1989)

The Player:
Danny Malone (?)

The Players:
Diving For Pearls

What Is It?

Some late-80s Pop-Metal venture by a bunch of guys who could have played a gig at Disney World and no one would have given it a second thought. Don't let the unbelievably Blues Metal cover fool you; these men are about as dangerous as a litter of puppies. There must have been a war of sorts within every blues metaller's mind in the late 80s: "Hmm, I want to look and/or sound dangerous, but I still want to get pussy". Thus came what I call the "Half And Half" compromise that even Roxanne was a bit too good for. Basically what "Half and Half" means is that half the songs on the record are ballads and the other half are presumably "rock songs". Well, it seems that Diving For Pearls went this route...kinda.

Does It Suck?

Lets be clear. This record is some average-azz BULL SHIT. While listening to this album it's still a wonder why I didn't get some sort of boredom-induced migraine, because DFP has TWO SONGS (1. Ballad 2. Semi-Rock Song Ballad). FUCK. I dare you to listen to this record. I dare you to find one above average song. (If there was one, it would be "I Close My Eyes", but by a stretch). Let me break it down: Take the Roxanne record and put it through 5 producers and 5 record company executives circa late 80s, each making whatever changes to the sound and appearance they like. You would come out with a pile of dog shit, or more accurately motherfucking diving for pearls. The ONLY moment that this record has are some solos and the song "I Close My Eyes" (which, for the record was not on youtube). These guys were probably to rock radio in 89 what Godsmack was to rock radio in '03. *shudders* Every single thing about this record is completely inconsequential, and I honestly would have been better off not listening to it. The only good thing about it is the cover, which I barely caught a glimpse of in a thrift store before snatching it up in my arms - because I thought I knew what the record was going to be like...

Are There Any Woman-Cursing Blues Songs?
Maybe one, or two at the most, but the band isn't really into blaming the chick. the vibe I got was that they spend most of the time blaming themselves because they're clumsy and insecure around girls by sitting in a corner and cutting.

Wrap-Up
This album is shite, save for half of a track and a couple leads. me giving this 4/10 would be merciful, so here's a big fat 3/10 for ya. Oh and by the way, one of the songs on this record is a Police ripoff in every sense. Suck it.

BLUES METAL REVIEW - ROXANNE (1988)

http://www.aor-fm.com/bands/1849_ROXANNE.aspx

(click link, scroll down for an audio sample)

/\ That audio sample is perfect, because it captures the "best" moment of this album, and subsequently the epitomization of "Blues Metal". OOooohohhh keep on pushin', babe. I WANNA be your MAAAAHHHHNNNN....




The Player:
Jamie Brown

The Players:
The rest of the god damn band

What The Fuck Is It?
It appears, upon a cursory search, to be an album that a few people bought in 1988, listened to it and summed up the experience with a well placed "ehhh". Also notice that the cover art is the exact definition of "Blues Metal Cover". Four brown haired young men in heavy black coats, you know, just aimlessly strolling through a southern California WASTELAND.

Does It Suck?
Yes and No. Let me explain - according to science and maths, this is an average album by definition. The first side is enjoyable as a feel-good rocker for the most part, plus the lead tone is similar to that of Michael Denner's on "Don't Break The Oath" which is an automatic +1. The intro to "Nothin' To Lose" is one of the high parts of the album, the others probably being certain big washy choruses. Come to think of it, probably the perfect thing for me to compare this album to is Winger's debut. There is nothing out there that sounds more like it, except the leads aren't quite as good. Overall, the thing that I take away from this album is that the band had an idea of how they wanted to appear and they stuck to it pretty well, and were fairly versatile within that image.

Then we come to Side B. Side B minus "Sweet Maria" and "Coming For You" is an absolute abomination, and I can tell you that even between the excessive skipping my turntable does because of the poor shape the B side is in. The record would skip entire sections at a time, offering me mere glimpses into the past (Or horrible future??) and I now know why. The last person who listened to this (in 1988, presumably) was so distraught by Roxanne's cover of play that funky music that he, in all his mulleted glory went out back and attacked the record with an electric sander in hopes that he would never again hear the shitpile of Roxanne's B side. Let me give you an overview: "Not The Same" is just a rambling monologue, presumably, about OOOHH THAT WOMAN
"Can't Stop Thinking" begins with a telephone "tone" and an answering machine message from, presumably a late 80s (absolute) FOX. The vocalists vocals are then subject to an effect that makes it sound as if he's singing into a telephone.....

play that funky music is the closer...and it makes you wonder how seriously these guys take themselves. Don't get me wrong, it is an EXCEPTIONAL cover, and Jamie Brown is probably the only person on earth who could almost get away with a fucking cover of play that funky music...

Finally, Are There Any Woman-Cursing Blues Songs?
There are so fucking many I lost count.

Wrap-Up
Overall, this is an average album and is recommended only for the small possibility that one may severely enjoy one of the choruses on side A or the solos. Otherwise, it's pretty "meh". For Me, 6/10